Las Vegas, Millionaire Maker, & The World Series of Poker

Day 2 of the WSOPC NOLA main I wake up in my hotel around noon after finishing a very long, but very successful day of poker prior. It felt so surreal, as in I felt it was all a dream. Sometimes my dreams are so vivid & imaginative that I have to come to realization once I finally wake up to determine whether the event in question was a figment of my imagination or was it reality. This series has been filled with variance, success, & disappointment all rolled up into one state of mind. I did not play the main I decided to play cash instead. What a great decision that turned out to be. I went to eat Drago’s char-grilled oysters one final time before I left NOLA. I had heaps. The meal was absolutely delightful as always. Following lunch, I immediately drove home to Slidell which is about thirty minutes away & booked my flight/hotel to Las Vegas for the WSOP! I couldn’t believe it; I was going back to Vegas. The feeling at that moment was indescribable. Las Vegas is the center in which all of my dreams & aspirations revolve around, but even more specifically the World Series of Poker is what I work so hard for day in & day out to get the opportunity to play birds for life changing money. My trip is booked & I have approximately one week to relax before what could be a summer of grinding & debauchery will more than likely take place. Originally I had only booked my roundtrip from May 30^th – June 3^rd. This just didn’t seem like a lot of time so my plan was let’s take it day by day & see how the events unfold. I certainly looked forward to cancelling my return flight home & extending my stay in this dry hell hole of a climate full of degeneracy & mortal sin.

It is May 29^th & it feels like Christmas Eve when I was a kid! The excitement of adult summer camp, unsupervised, is just a guilty pleasure that I have the opportunity to indulge in as I please. I literally can’t breathe. I am ready to go to the airport at midnight for a 6:15 am flight. I am literally jacked out of my mind. Endorphins are flowing. The level of excitement simply cannot be contained. My buddies also are having difficulty sleeping so we decide to leave for the airport early. We take our time getting there & still get there too early, but we are here. At last, the time has come, it’s time to board the plane & leave for what would end up being one of the most memorable trips of my poker career. For those who know me well on poker trips I don’t engage in many extracurricular activities nor do I party often. I rarely see day light until it’s time to go home. This trip was no different & in the end it’s kind of disappointing because I wanted to eat several places outside of the casino other than Grand Lux, but I failed in that aspect yet once again. Anyway we are on our flight & it is very short & quick. We arrive safely in Las Vegas & while waiting on our baggage, & the first thing I do is take pictures of scarcely clothed female tourists. Social media sure got a kick out of it & so did I, however my friends were not so approving. What would they expect? I am going to be me & they know that. In the end everything was ok. Once our luggage arrived, we found our other two friends meeting us at the airport & found our way to our rent a car. Once luggage was secured we were on our way to the Rio. The rooms were not readily available for check in before 9:00 am, so we decided to check out sit & go land/cash game area. I waited zero time before jumping into the very first pot limit Omaha game I could find. Game selection at this point was irrelevant. I just got off of a three & a half hour flight plus forty-five minutes to claim baggage & get to the Rio. I was ready to begin my summer with a bang, & that I did. After about a six or so hour session we decided to cash out & book a win. This was a great way to begin my hopefully very long summer.

This town and especially the Rio during the WSOP offer many options to poker players and I just had to make a decision on exactly what I wanted to get into next. I managed to walk aimlessly around the convention center at the Rio until I ran into someone familiar, which is actually very easy at this time of year. It’s Friday afternoon at about 3pm and I’m supposed to play the Millionaire Maker at 11:00 am Vegas time in the morning. I decide to late register the 3pm deepstack bird, which is a one day turbo structured event. This decision is more than likely the first poor decision amongst many that end up leading to several more catastrophic events as time goes by. I end up late registering this tournament & bust just after 3^rd break right about when the structure was breaking down. I ended up opening/calling off my last 20bb with AQo and ran into the buttons AKo. Now I am on raging tilt. I shouldn’t be, yet I hate busting birds or making mistakes even if they seem standard. Jared Tendler has described that in The Mental Game of Poker as Mistake Tilt.  I proceed to go play cash & spew off about 2 buyins before I decide to say fuck it I’m going to the fucking room. I can’t be anymore oi at this very moment. Once getting to the room I take a shower and relax. After about an hour or so I begin to feel better.

Then a tumultuous turn of events took place, the downward spiral of feelings such as loneliness and hopelessness began to rapidly unfold. I proceeded to take the elevator downstairs in the mindset to go register for the Millionaire Maker and to avoid the long lines that come with procrastinating and being unprepared. As I walk from the masquerade tower in the Rio I have to pass the pit & all the temptations that come along with it. In this aspect I failed. I decided to play pai gow poker in which we all know should be a very low variance slow pace game. It was $25 minimum bet, I decided to begin with a relatively small amount & go from there. Things managed to go smoothly for a while. Then whatever it was hit a nerve or triggered my anger in which sent me into full blown fucking tilt. Tilting in the pit with significant money in my pocket is never a good scenario. It could turn out very well or well should we say not so fucking good, and the latter scenario almost always wins. It’s just part of my nature in which I am trying to change. Now instead of playing 1 hand between $50-$75 dollars, I begin betting $200-$500 across multiple hands. One can only see where this form of irrational thinking and lack of cognitive processes leads to. I’m either coming up in a big way or these motherfuckers are going to break me. I don’t give a fuck at this point. All rationality and cognitive process is out the window. In the end the casino almost managed to break me. I left with an undisclosed amount & my dignity. I proceeded to meet several friends at the buffet and decompressed. Following my meal I began to struggle with how I felt. My stomach wasn’t feeling so well. Matter in fact I have not been feeling well since the moment we got here. This was going to have a major effect in whether or not I decide to play the 11:00am flight of the Millionaire Maker. I go back to my room and try to recuperate mentally & physically. When I make the decision to go downstairs I make the decision to skip the first flight of the Millionaire Maker and play cash instead. I still had the ability to play the tournament if so desired yet with how my stomach was feeling & my recent mental blow up I decided cash was best. So I go buy into a $1/$2 pot limit Omaha game. I double my second hand after getting it in with a wrap, Nut flush draw, two overs, and a pair if I remember correctly. I decide to run it twice and I bink both draws on the turn. There was quite a bit of dead money also in this pot so I then decide to take what I have on the table and move up to 5/5 pot limit Omaha. I double my buyin in that game roughly within an hour then decide to get up & take a break. I have made a significant comeback in relation to my latest downfall. I needed this boost in my confidence, I needed to repair the damage mentally and physically that I had just engaged in hours before, this certainly qualifies.

The next few days are quite inconsequential and Monday June 2^nd arrives without warning. As I walk into the Pavilion Room of the Rio where cash games and sit & go land reside; I immediately run into a good friend whom talks me into playing a deepstack tournament at Binion’s, I reluctantly agree as I am unsure of the turnout for this event and if the potential prize pool that will be worth risking a precious buyin for.  My friend and I cab it from the Rio to downtown Vegas, my first time I may add, to Binion’s Horseshoe, the original home to the World Series of Poker. We arrive in the area in which the tournament is being held and to our delight the tournament is more than a two table sit and go. The noon tournament ended up being part of their deepstack series was a $140 buyin, with 20k starting stacks, and 30 minute levels. By the time late registration was over there were 177 players and just so happened to be that Leif Force was the last to late register. I had managed to triple my starting stack within the first six levels played. I couldn’t ask for a softer table draw. As the field begins to dwindle, musical chairs are in full effect, the number of tables naturally begins to decrease, and new faces begin to appear. The joys of tournament poker!

The tournament has reached a critical stage of the beginning of the tournament, 500/1000/100 and we are still 10 handed. After a series of second best hands, my stack has dwindled down below starting stack for the first time since I sat down. I am in the cutoff with A8ss and as it is folded to me I open shove for my last 15bb. The big stack that happens to be in the bb snap calls with KQo, and I am off to the races. The runout was more than kind to me as it ran out Ax8Q8. I received a full and much needed double. From this moment I never looked back. I managed to chip up to over 100k by the 3kbb level where I find my biggest moment of the tournament. This kid two to my right has been relatively active and his lines have been quite unorthodox or have made zero sense. He opens to 7k at 3kbb 10 handed with over 100k back. Two spots to his left I min 3b him to 11k with ATss with the intention of having to play this hand to the river. He calls. QTxr. He checks and I continue for 15k into 31.5k. He calls. The offsuit ten peels on the turn. Fasten your seatbelts we are about to get paid. This is literally the best card in the deck for my hand versus his range. He checks & I snap rip 60k into 61.5k. The look on his face was priceless as I don’t think he was expecting that. He has no idea I just got there. After minutes in the tank he asks will I show if he folds I whisper “No” and he trag’s in a call with KQo then begins to berate me. I literally laugh out loud making it a point that he opened from early position with KQo out flopped me, tried to trap & I got there. I reminded him the importance of hand selection in a sarcastic & demeaning manor since he was being such a fucking dick to begin with. I really didn’t give a fuck. Moral of the story when the money went in I got it in good. I managed to crawl for the next few levels as the structure began to spiral out of control. I had bled my way down to about 7bb at 10kbb on the money bubble and by sheer variance I wake up with KK in the big blind as a lady who had open raised after doubling three hands prior opened and called off to my shove with 99. We hold!

I manage to win quite a few pots within the next several orbits and just after my double I make the money which paid 18 spots. One elimination after another the final table is finally within reach and fortunately I have chips for this structure at least. I finally reach the unofficial final table! It’s time to close!

The unofficial final table began ten handed and very quickly it had made it down to six handed where for me the most pivotal handoff the tournament takes place. I start the hand from the cutoff and look down at 66. I have roughly 400k back at 20kbb I open to 40k with the intention that if the big blind rips I am 100% calling. I get my wish and I tank call off for 20bb effective. It’s a race, 66 vs AKo. I flop a 6 on a rather dry board for the full double. It certainly feels good to win a flip at such a critical stage of the tournament. After two quick eliminations we are down to 4 handed and I have a little over 800k in chips of the 3.540 million in play. The same guy whom I doubled thru earlier I shoved the button with 22 for 250k effective at 60kbb and he snap called off from the small blind with AKo. The big blind folded. The runout was rough yet ended in my favor. It ran out K8x29 and there were now 3 left. I now had roughly 1.375 million of the 3.540 million in play which is roughly 38.8% of the chips in play. I don’t remember the exact payout structure except that 1^st place originally was $5250. After reviewing chip chop numbers I was to receive like 3700 for first. I started out negotiating that if I did not get $4k we were going to play it out. I ended up settling for $3.8k and was happier than I could imagine at that given time. First actual non nightly first place! It certainly felt great! I love the feeling of when my back is against a wall. It gives me strength to concentrate on the quality of my decisions, my actions, and my process. It gives all of this a deeper meaning and allows it to take the primary role in which it was intended.

Tomorrow or what I should say it already is Tuesday June 3^rd. My flight is scheduled for 12:00 pm departure back to NOLA. I said fuck this I spent too much time, money, & effort getting here so I decided to cancel my flight. One of the most memorable & exciting decisions I have ever made. I know that may sound simple to most, but for me it was a huge step forward! So I had called southwest airlines and cancelled my flight, it was time to stay in Vegas to do work! I meet up with the boss in sit and go land at about 9:00am to do just that. At this point I have made some serious adjustments in my single table game and it was time to put those changes into action. Needless to say over the course of the next few days I had played roughly 30 single tables & had a relatively rough outcome. I had cashed 3/30 with no outright wins. Still a very small sample size relative & I still had some minor mistakes and adjustments to make. Cash has been the only steady area for me so far this summer and even there I have had my fair share of variance. So needless to say the next few days are just real meh, rather uneventful, and unimportant to the overall story so I will spare the details.

It has felt like I have gone non-stop since I have been in Vegas. Basically I have. It is now time for me to take a few days off and they could not have come at a better time. One of my closest friends in the poker world, Kevin Eyster, is super deep in the $5k 6m no limit bracelet event. Sick brag I know. The tournament had 541 entrants. The top 60 players would finish ITM and earn a share of the $2,452,700 prize pool that was created. At this juncture the tournament was now down below 25 players. This was becoming a surreal moment in my career. This was also prior to one of my really good friends Chris Hunichen being eliminated. My initial thoughts were let’s get Huni & 1$D HU one fucking time! The $5k 6m is one of the most prestigious bracelet events of the summer! This would be simply amazing to witness. Now as the field dwindles & the night is coming to a close the field is bagging chips with I believe 19 players remaining. Tomorrow they will battle it out on the felt for an opportunity to play for the title & $622,998! I am speechless. I have no idea what that feels like, yet I know one day it will become unconsciously competent. Day 3 of the $5k 6m has finally come! The tournament will play down to the final table and a winner will be crowned as the 2014 $5k 6m bracelet winner. The blood is flowing through my veins. My mind questions “Is this real”? The time has arrived; the tournament has reached the final table.

Players eliminated recently were in the likes of Greg Merson, Griffin Benger, Kory Kilpatrick, & Pratyush Buddiga. The final table is a pretty sick line up, but nothing that has not been navigated before. The final table consisted of Kevin Eyster, Bryn Kenney, Andrew Lichtenberger, Jeremy Kottler, Pierre Neuville, & David Borrat. The final table has its standard variety of high level play, monster pots, & coolers. The first memorable instance comes when the tournament reaches 4 handed play. Only Bryn Kenney, Andrew Lichtenberger, Pierre Neuville, and Kevin Eyster remain left in contention for the bracelet & $622,998. Pierre is in the small blind & Kevin is in the big. Bryn folds the cutoff/UTG and Andrew folds his button. Blind versus blind play is one of the most exciting dynamics of full ring or shorthanded play yet will usually rarely occur until the latter stages of the tournament. Effective stacks are roughly 1.6M at 50Kbb. The average is roughly 2,028,750M and I believe Kevin has the chip lead at the moment with just under/over 3M chips. There is only 8,115,000M in play. Pierre opens from the SB to like 120,000. Kevin 3b from the BB to roughly 350,000 but I can’t exactly remember at the very moment. Pierre 4b piles and Kevin essentially snap called. Pierre tables A7o versus Kevin’s TT. Kevin is in great shape to bring this show three handed. Now I am going to provide a little back-story & the stage within the stage. In Kevin’s section of the thunder-dome all of his closest friends not currently engaged in another tournament are currently railing him along with his girlfriend Cassie. We unfortunately have one cancerous tumor that in the end I can’t speak for Kevin yet I feel that with the group that was in attendance will whole heartedly agree with my forthcoming analysis. For discussion purposes I will refer to this person as “Shadow” to reveal his identity to those who have not heard the story. The moment Pierre and Kevin get it in BvB, Shadow proceeds to say something below his breath yet loud enough for someone in our section to hear. His words I cannot quote yet they are in the vicinity of saying something like “Watch an ace come in the window.” This obviously changes nothing in relation toward the outcome, yet I think it was agreeable that we did not want to be around that type of negativity at this point in time. He was asked to leave and finally someone blew up on him. Whether he misunderstood what was going on I have no idea, but when he turned around and told me to “Go fuck myself you fat piece of shit” I fucking lost it. Read the opening to my prior blog. I have come to a point in my life where I will no longer let someone disrespect me to my face or take advantage of me any longer. I just won’t fucking deal with it. With that being said my rebuttal was “If I ever see you outside of the Rio I will fucking bury your ass in the fucking desert.” It wasn’t a threat nor is it a declaration yet it was me standing up for myself and I will never apologize for that. I did what I felt was necessary at the time without giving it too much thought. This person will spend their life fading me. Glhf bud!

I inherently get 86’ed by Rio security for the night and at this point I am not happy about it. I am a very large man by nature and this is one of those times I could not escape that reality. I took the consequences but not willingly and without explanation. My phone was completely dead and the internet was so fucked up beyond recognition without being extorted for $14.00/day for hotel internet that I could not follow what was going on online. I had no way of receiving updates on Kevin’s progress. This was unbelievably fucking tilting. As the night progressed I finally decided to charge my phone and I was made aware by text messages that Kevin and Pierre had bagged chips. Their heads-up battle for the bracelet will continue tomorrow. This must have been a sign from God that I was destined to see Kevin realize all of his hard work and struggles will finally payoff. This is the moment that as poker players we all dream about. It’s what we work our entire lives for, this one moment, the opportunity to seize everything we have ever wanted. He captured that moment and will forever be immortalized in WSOP history! This was the most surreal moment of my poker career in a moment that I was not personally involved in playing wise. The feelings of joy and gratitude just flooded my soul. The fact that I was just able to witness something so great and unfathomable has made me realize how blessed I am. Some work their entire lives and never get to realize a moment like this. That is how I will define that moment for you.

Just to be here, to experience the World Series of Poker, was a blessing in its own. Some people never get to experience it so for that I am truly grateful. I can’t even remember how many more days I spent in Vegas it was all a blur. I ended up booking my ticket home and began planning my return trip for the main event which was merely only two weeks away. It was a much needed two weeks’ worth of relaxing and even some life changing events occurred. Till next time. Enjoy!  

WSOPC NOLA 2014

At this point it has been a brutal 7 years. I have had my moments of “normalcy” but the more I thought about it I asked myself what is normal? How do you define normal? I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as normal. We are all human beings, and we are all fucked up in one way or another. We are perfectly imperfect. We are wholeheartedly unique. This is a barrier that I have had difficulty overcoming since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am who I am. Love me or hate me I’m going to be me. I have to love and respect myself before I can do the same for others. I will no longer tolerate myself being negative. Keep in mind I am writing this blog hopefully in the past tense but as my present self. I will also remove anyone or anything from my life that has nothing to do with me reaching my goals. I will also no longer tolerate people blatantly disrespecting me especially to my face. I don’t expect anyone to kiss my ass or walk on eggshells around me, but let it be known that if you have nothing nice or positive to say about me just don’t say it or unfortunately we will have to deal with reality. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’m done with people who have an underlying agenda, or people that use me for their benefit. It will no longer go unnoticed or unattended to. I just won’t fucking deal with it any longer.

Every spring around May since its inception, the World Series of Poker circuit makes its final stop in New Orleans just before the annual World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. So the time has come once again, and it’s the same old story. I am in a depressive state of mind; I have no money, story of my fucking life. I get a phone call out of the blue. It is a person whom I am rather close with yet actually has a life outside of poker. He asked if I planned on playing the first ring event for the WSOPC NOLA. I told him that I was not intending on it, and that my backer only had intentions of putting me in the reentry. I decided to go anyway whether I played or not, just to get out of the house. In the morning we got to Harrah’s New Orleans & all seemed normal. Rather quiet yet you could feel the electricity staring to build. Just before the tournament I was offered a proposal. My friend offered to put me in for a full stake no makeup for 60% equity. I accepted. He later decided to sell half to another individual and have me put up the juice for an even 50% equity. It was booked.

The first level was rough as I didn’t play many hands, and the ones that I did ended up being second best. I had to dig deep mentally. Tournament poker is all about mental toughness and survival as well as having a skilled, well executed game plan. The first significant hand for the tournament had arrived. I had a meh table draw. I had competent players whom I had history in succession to my left. Blinds were at 50/100, and effective stacks 8.5k with 10k starting stacks. It folded to me in the LoJack and I looked down at two black kings. I opened to 250. Folded to the button, and he decided to flat. The SB was an old man probably 60+, and had played fairly standard. He 3b squeezed big to I believe 1500. Now vs a normal squeeze I had several options here but with this specific dynamic I felt my options were limited. So instead of 5b to induce a 6b shove I flat called and decided to play post flop. Button folded & we saw a TXXr flop. He open plowed for 7k effective and I covered. I leaned back in my chair and say "what the fuck" out loud but in a normal yet very questionable tone with a very perplexed look on my face. I went through my process as I do with every decision. I was talking out loud but I will not disclose my intentions as you will have to figure those out on your own, but I asked him "did you really just shove into me for your tournament life with Aces, or are you just overvaluing a hand & turning it into a bluff"? His mannerisms just didn’t seem right. His artery in his neck looked like it was about to explode. His facial expression had changed slightly. At this moment I knew my hand was best more often than not so I called off. He indeed had QQ. The board bricked out and I got the full double. Although this hand may seem standard which it kind of was, it was a very pivotal point for me early in this bird. Now I had gained some momentum. When confidence begins to flow through my veins my blood becomes like ice water, and I transfer into a mindset which makes me very difficult to beat. In rare form, very rarely this tournament did my money go into the middle without either being ahead or having significant equity. I felt that I had played very well. My reads were dead on, and even though this was the case I still made a few mistakes.

Eventually my starting table broke, and my new table was just dreamy. I managed to chip up to about 110k on dinner or so. Things were going well, and they did not slow down after dinner, however my table did get tougher with the addition of Jason Mayfield to my direct left, but he was short, and Bo Grey whom I remember as a 2/5 reg from my early days of grinding cash at Harrahs. Thankfully Bo was 4 to my right, and we were the two biggest stacks at not only our table but in the room. That didn’t stop us from battling. We both were too competitive, and were trying to put ourselves in position to win the tournament. We didn’t lock up in too many hands that were significant at this table, but when we redrew for the final 27 we ended up drawing the same table, and he was 2 to my right with Jeff Sager to my direct left. Jeff and I are good friends from high school. The first significant hand that Bo and I get involved in was later in the night when the blinds were getting high yet enough chips in play to compensate for the structure. If I am not mistaken, I was the chip leader at 4k/8k/1k. I’m unsure of the ante; we were 9 handed. There was 21k in the pot, and effective stacks were roughly 500k. I had about 800k to start, so roughly 62.5bb effective. It folded to Bo in the cutoff, and he opened for 16k. Button folded, and I looked down at the AJo. I decided to peel, and Jeff folded in the BB. We looked at the JXXcc flop. I had the Jc. There was now 53k in the pot, and I checked to Bo. He continued for 25k and I called. Turn came 8c. I lead 57k for value into 103k. He tanked for a moment, and raised me to roughly 129k if I remember right. I went into the tank for a bit and decided to 3b rip as I had decided either we have the same hand giving him a better club draw along with top pair, or that I have the best hand and would prefer not to have to show down. He tanked for a while, and eventually settled on folding. I essentially put him to a decision for his tournament life while turning my hand into a bluff, all while making it extremely difficult to call off with one pair type hands.

After this level we started losing players left and right. We were now on the FT bubble. I had lost a few pots but I was still chip leader in very good shape. The last woman standing in the field was to my direct right, and has shown competence and played well to this point. Blinds were 6k/12k/2k and it was folded to her. She shoved her last 15bb (about 180k) with two black nines. Unfortunately for her I woke up with AKss to her direct left, and decided to isolate her by reshoving. We got the AxxKx runout and were down to the official FT and was time to bag. I bagged 921k to end the night going into the 9 handed FT. I had roughly triple the average. Should be a layup but….

The next day I showed up refreshed. Got a decent nap in but couldn’t sleep. I was stone jayyyed & ready to get to work. The FT started off fast. Like first or second hand DJ McKinnon & Bo Grey get it AIPF KK vs JJ. Bo flopped a jack & DJ rivered a king. A few quick eliminations, especially Jeff Sager who got 99 AIPF and was short on chips on the button. Unfortunately for him, Bo had opened utg with aces. GG bud. A few more hit the showers, and we were down to 4 handed. It was me, Bo, DJ, and a guy by the name of Louis George. I had about 1.3M of the 2.8M in play. Bo had been crippled earlier, and had about 80k. Louis had roughly 650k, and DJ had 770k. Bo was the button, DJ in the sb, and Louis in the bb. I opened AQhh utg 4 handed at 16kbb to 35k. Bo and DJ fold. Louis completed. First of all I played with Louis a lot in the last 2 tables. He had some sort of medium strength hand here. All aces were in his limping range other than AK, AQ, and AA that he is not reraising here. Medium pairs etc. We saw a AK7r with one heart flop. Louis checked. I continued for 40k. Louis check raised to 117k. I tanked for a bit mapping out how I wanted to continue. His range was pretty polarized in this spot in my opinion. I put him on a rather narrow range of hands that beat me, and several other hands that I could induce to get in bad, so I decided to put the pressure back on him, so I 3bet to 241k. He snap ripped. Now honestly he does this with all of his aces and two pair/set combos. He had one set in his (77). He had one two pair hand in his range which (A7). I truly felt he would have folded K7 preflop. I called. He had A7 off. Turn came a K. Bink! Now I had 95% equity with one card to come. My buddy said something that brought a real negative thought into my mind, and boom 7h river! FUCK MY LIFE! WHEN WILL IT FUCKING END? His comment truly changed nothing. It was coming regardless. I collected myself. Said nice hand and moved on. After eliminating Bo Grey on the very next hand several orbits later came my bust out hand which I really like. 3 handed play & DJ was on the button and folded. Louis opened from the sb to 45k at 16kbb. I peeled the 45dd from the bb. There was about 96k in the middle, and I started the hand with 434k or 27bb. We look at the T68dd flop. I flopped a low end gutter, and a flush draw plus both of my cards were more than likely live. Louis lead 45k, I made it 117k. He called. My intention here was suicide ripping every turn here even the ones that completed my hand. The Jc peeled off on the turn, and he checked. I took about 5 seconds and shoved Allin for 270k. He snap called with….Wait for it….K9o with the 9 of diamonds. El OH FUCKING EL! Ok. The river came the most dreaded card out of the 52 that compose it. The 7h. I thought I won for a second until I realized that it filled his double gutter. Wow. I stood up. Shook both of their hands and wished them GG & GL. I busted in 3rd place for just over $9k. It was a good run. I had the ring in my sights. It Would have been an extremely fun battle heads up with DJ but it was not meant to be. I snap registered for the $365 PLO ring event, and stone bubbled to Joe McKeenan. Cool story right bro?

I played the reentry for my backer & bagged 11th in chips going into Day 2. It was a very awkward day. I managed to min cash & take a loss on my double barrel. It was real meh. I also ended up playing the 6max and ended up punting early, only to go dine at Ruth’s Chris with the Kid. It was an unbelievable meal and cost a whole lot less than a tilt pit session. Outside of that, I played cash the rest of the series did well, and soon as I got home snap booked a flight and hotel to Las Vegas for the WSOP. Hopefully this blog provided some depth & excitement. It’s been a while since I have last blogged so it feels really good to get some controlled spew on paper. I have a few more follow ups in the works covering the first trip to Las Vegas for the WSOP, and my return trip for the Main Event. Till then & thanks for reading.

Scars of my own Reality

Confidence is the ability to trust your instincts & adapt to the environment. It helps you make well informed decisions & allows you to pull the trigger when necessary. When your belief system starts to fail...You have nothing else to fall upon...A fragile state indeed.

Surrounded in a world that revolves around incomplete information it is probably not in my best interest to publish this, but it is a something that I need to get off of my chest. This is a very difficult subject for me to talk about let alone write about. For those who don’t know me or at least know me well, I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in late 2007 & it seems as my entire life had come crashing down. The change in day to day emotions can be quite brutal & take not just a mental but also a physical toll on me. It had become exhausting & yet I have somehow allowed it to get the best of me, to define who I am. My soul swims deep in the recesses of depression all while my physical being lives life on the edge of insanity. My decision making is questionable, even highly irrational to those who are coined “normal” but there is a method to my madness. I have multiple levels of sickness & they each have their own varying degrees. There are neither regrets nor am I ever looking back. Can’t stop won’t stop. It’s how I am wired & oddly I can’t be convinced otherwise. I try to live life in the present & forget the past. What has been done is done & I know that history cannot be erased. All I can do is continue to move forward. & be the absolute best person I can be. In the past I have habitually put myself in situations where failure seems to be my only option. Where no matter what level of talent I may possess, where talent or skill is more insignificant than the other variables that exist that weigh so heavily against me in my current frame of mind that I have absolutely no shot of not only achieving my expectations, but even worse damaging my belief system to a level that only leads to further self destruction. My self-confidence was shattered. My belief system was non-existent. The amount of stress that I had created in order to achieve success or meet my expectations brought my anxiety level to a whole new level of unbearable. In the past, the only way I know how to cope with anxiety was to hinder it with any available drug that will at least temporarily numb the pain. In the midst of this, I suddenly then realized that I do not have any established goals. Where was I going in life & how was I going to get there? What do I want for myself? These are legitimate questions that I have yet to answer. I had failed to plan. It just all seemed trivial at the time but one thing as I get older I realize the traits of successful individuals. There is no specific formula yet there are attributes & intangible qualities that are engrained in successful individuals. Its hard work & these attributes are employed on a daily basis toward the achievement of those goals. I will learn more from our failures than our successes. I have to continue to fight & never give up. I am OI & have fucking had enough. I’ve had enough with others mistaking my kindness for weakness. I’ve had enough with self-destruction, self-pity, & allowing this disease to define me as an individual. No more. I owe this to myself & no one else. It’s time to take accountability for my own actions. To become a responsible individual & to drain my soul of the degeneracy’s that have brought me down to a level of desperation & undesirability. Only I can make the necessary changes in my life to achieve the goals that I desire & surround myself with those who I know who love & care about me the most as well as vice versa. I have recently made some life changing decisions to make a lifestyle change toward a new & healthier me. I decided to join a gym & have made the commitment to myself to take my physical & mental health more of a priority. My goal is simply to become a better more well rounded as well as a more positive & inspirational person. Become a better person today than I was the day before. I am on a mission. I am coming after everyone & everything. All the money is in plain sight. BlakeB0921, CT3, 1$D, Big $ick, TheChoff, Ty Dean, Ryan Lenaghan, Ashly Butler, Jared Ingles, Benton Blakeman & Jacob Naquin. Lets fucking go!#WhereI’mGoin

The Beau Rivage Million Dollar Heater Series Insanity & Degeneracy lead to life changing events

Saturday January 7th I left my house to begin my weekend trip to The Beau Rivage in Biloxi Mississippi for their Million Dollar Heater Series. I had about $1.5k or so with the plan of playing in Day 1B of their opening 200K guaranteed event which had already drew 690+ players with less than 100 surviving day 1 & advancing to day 2. The guarantee had been met with Day 1B yet to begin. There would be tremendous value in registering for this event. After registration was closed, 1453 players had registered & 99 players would make the money with $72K going to first place. The pay-out schedule was rather top heavy with over 59% of the prize pool going to the final 9 players & a min-cash was receiving right around 3 times their buy-in. So for a $350 Buy-In, I have the opportunity to play for a $422,823 prize pool, that’s insane! I forget my headphones at home. Insta-badbeat! I have to spend $300 to buy some new ones ASAP!

I go to registration to register for the event & I am assigned table 57 seat 7. I take my seat & I immediately recognize no one at my table. The button is placed in the two seat and the tournament director announces “Lets shuffle up & deal”. It’s officially time to do work. I sit at the table patiently & after the first orbit I get dealt 10-10 from utg+2. UTG raises to T150, I flat, & it folds around to the BTN who also flats. The SB completes, BB folds, & we will see a flop with T650 in the middle in Level 1 with blinds of 25/50. The flop comes out 10-8-6hhx. Not a bad flop until I see the SB lead out for T1200 then the original raiser from UTG re-raises to T6300. My initial reaction was like W.T.F.? The SB just open lead for twice the pot on the 10th hand of the tournament & UTG the original raiser re-raises. We started the hand with T10k & I now have 2 choices. I can fold or I can tank ship. I go with the later because let’s face it. Folding is so results oriented. The BTN folds & I get snap called in both spots, we now have a T30K+ pot at 25/50. This is so sick & so insane. The SB has AKhh for a flush draw with 2 overs, UTG has 79hh for a flopped straight & open ended straight flush draw, & I have top set looking for the case 10 or the board to pair other than the 6h as well as having to avoid the Jh. The 5d comes on the turn giving me additional equity. I mean pre-flop in a 3 way opened pot I have roughly 45.5% equity. I am never folding here, I have equity outs to win this pot & have T30K from a starting stack of T10K @ 25/50. Even though I flop top set on that board I do manage to lose about 15-16% of my pre-flop equity & must pick up some on the turn. My equity is further reduced to about 21% & I have about 12 outs with 1 to come. The 6h hits the river & I gasp for a second, it only takes a split second to realize that I just made top full house to only get the final nail driven in my coffin by a straight flush on the river. GG $350. I am glad I was able to contribute. A gross way to begin the trip but lets not be results oriented. I made the correct play. I was just super unfortunate for the board to run out that way.

Now that I have been eliminated from the tournament in such gross fashion I decide to head down to the poker room & play 2/5 NL cash. I sit down with about $500 to start which is rather short relative to other stacks at the table. Needless to say I blow a quick $500 & reload with another $500. Several hands later from the SB I look down at the AKdd & the action returns to me with several limpers into me. I decide to raise to $35 with the intention of taking it down without contest. There were at least 6 limpers into me. UTG+3 decides to re-raise $100 on top & it folds to me. I tank ship for $500 total knowing that if he made this move with 10-10+ but not KK or AA & AK, AQ, AJ suited. I figured the worst spot I may be in is a flip. I may be giving him a little too much credit but in the end my AK high was good & I scoop the $1k+ pot. I play from about 1pm to about 7pm. I cash out right at $2k which brought a little $1k profit.

I decide to go back upstairs to check out the tournament & decide to play the nightly. The nightly was a $210 buy in & the only player at my table I recognized was Nancy Birnbaum. Needless to say this one would be rather short as well. Nancy ran me down with 3-4o from the BB vs my BTN open with A7hh on a 2-6-8hh flop. She c/c the flop, & turn came 9s giving me a straight & flush draw as well as A-high which is more than likely good here anyway. The river comes the A of clubs. She c/r on the river & I pay her gutterball off. Then I get it in a few hands later KQ vs KJ & the flop brought a J in the window. Then I decide to get back into a 2/5 NL cash game. I begin to run the show from the moment I sit down. I had owned our table, then we lose a few players & the two tightest rocks sit to my left. I decide to change tables to a more financially balanced table. Needless to say by the end of this session I end up going up & down like Rose Ballengers Graph from the Micros. I was as low as $300 & as high as $5k. By the time I got out of that game I had cashed out at $3k. The only problem is I played forever. I was dog tired. It was Sunday afternoon & I had been up since 6am Saturday morning. It was all a blur but somewhere in between in cash more than likely I dropped about $500. So I am sitting on about $2.5k & running on fumes. I’m still having difficulty figuring out where I got into the 2-5-10 pot limit Omaha game with my whole roll. I quickly ran that buy-in up to about $5k, maybe I will learn to hit & run. I have to get up from the table sometime to realize a profit. Well I didn’t & I got involved in a huge pot for almost all of my stack in a CO vs. BTN hand where I held KQ89hhss. The flop came 2-K-Qss. I c/c the BTN’s pot size bet to maintain pot control out of position & to give myself the opportunity to not bloat a pot with marginal holdings out of position but also to reevaluate the turn. The turn brought the 10d which can be a good or bad card for my hand. I made a horrible play in this spot & sometimes you have to take your bad play to learn from & become a better player. I decided to c/r by re-potting the BTN’s pot & we get it all in & decide to run it twice. I have KQ89hhss which was top 2 with a weak flush draw vs. AJXXssxx Broadway + spade redraw. I was crushed & drawing super thin. I lost both runs & that hand cost me dearly. Needless to say not only did I play bad, I made a mistake in regards to poor game selection due to lack of experience & bankroll. I guess I was taking my shot to run it up big. Greed eventually won & flattened me.

Eventually it was Monday morning & I have officially been up for over 72 hours & I was dead broke. I don’t even remember how I got back into the next game or which one it was. All I do know is it was Monday January 9th 2012 & LSU was playing Alabama in the National Championship Game in New Orleans. I was too busy napping on the couch in the tournament room to care & sweating Jeff Tims at the $550 NLHE Final table where he was playing for $25K for first. Jeff ended up busting in 4th place for what he calls peanuts for about $6K. It has been 3 days since I had slept or showered. I was completely DeGeNeD out & super disgusting. I took a shower in Jeff’s room & stayed with a buddy that had a room for the night. Wow it felt so good to get about 12+ hours of sleep. We joked that I would be good for another 3-4 days. He was about right. Now I know I played 2 sit & go’s somewhere in between all of this. I busted one on the first hand, I will spare the bad play & details. The second one I shipped outright plus half of the last longer. I had learned some valuable information on this trip when it comes to saving money. The spa was one of them. I ate, showered, had a steam room & everything I could possible imagine at my disposal for only $20/day. I was in heaven. I had the spa, was living off of comps, & working super short again but I was alive.

Tuesday night I was around the tournament room late enough to witness my good friend Michael Brawley ship the LIMIT Holdem tournament for the 2nd year in a row for just over $5k. Congratulations to you Mikey, way to go in there & defend your title. For the next two days I stayed at Mikey’s got some sleep & a few good showers. I was so refreshed. I couldn’t appreciate it enough. I was running on fumes. So a few days later Dad ships me another half a dime or so & this is the turning point of this trip. So many positive things happened to me in this trip that I truly feel it changed my life for the better. I wont go into all the boring details but I was threatened by an old man who more than likely weighs 110 soaking wet swearing he will kick my ass. For those who know me or have seen me I’m sure if it went down I don’t like his chances & secondly I am a gentle giant. It is hard to piss me off. But when it occurs 1 of 2 things will happen. I will either lose control & want to beat someone within an inch of their life or I get so angry I start to cry. Now I have NEVER hurt anyone intentionally in my life that was not self defense because I felt that my life was in danger or my safety or personal wellbeing. It is rather embarrassing to cry in public but that is how I handle anger. So this leads to probably the most mind blowing & significant conversation I had ever had in my life with my good friend Tyler Smith. Now the details of our conversation will always remain private. I hope anyone wishing to know will understand. I went from very upset & angry to on CLOUD NINE. One of the best moments of my life that I will never forget, thanks Tyler! All I know is that I lost a pot that felted me 3 hours later when I flopped a set & got run down by running quads, at least she was a beautiful woman, eye candy to say the least. The positive emotions are now flowing. I have no idea where I am at & honestly could care less. I just wanted to enjoy the moment that I was in.

It is now Friday & I have almost been here a week. I am fixing to play in the $240 12pm & after selling all my action it was time to go to registration & buy-in. There was only one problem. Someone that bought a piece was not there & I had to go borrow the money from Tyler. So I am heading down the down escalators from the convention level to the casino floor & see Michael Brawley almost to the top on the other side. I just stepped on & I am only maybe two steps down. I forgot my phone charging in the tournament room & I did not want to leave it in there. So what do I do? Instead of going 150 feet down the down escalator & up 150 feet up the up escalator I try to go back up the down escalator. Needless to say that did not work out so well. I tripped, fell, took 3 puncture wounds from the escalator to my knee, & after all 430 biscuits came down in full force I think I broke the escalator. Oh shit. I am bleeding profusely down my leg. I go to the bathroom to clean it up & then head downstairs to get money so I can register for the 12pm. I come back upstairs & register. My leg is severely injured. I should go to the hospital & forget about the tournament. Nah it can wait until I go home after the Main Event which is still a week away. I take a couple of hits early when I flop 2 pair & get run down by a better 2 pair, but I do crack a guys AA when he raises from EP with me on the BTN with KQcc. I flop a K & c/c the flop. I turn a Q & snap call his insta-shove on a K-6-X-Qhhh board. I get moved shortly thereafter & get involved in a crazy hand against Sean Small where I am in the CO vs. BTN & I 4 bet him pre with J5ss. I was making a move & unfortunately ran into a hand as well as playing it so bad. I should have never opened when folded to me pre, but then if I decided to go with my read on table dynamics I should have folded to his 3 bet. I busted that hand when I ran into his AA. I should have recognized the “Speech” pre. I paid the consequence for bad play. Lesson learned. I definitely got berated for that one, but I was going with my gut. The only problem is I made mistakes in the hand & I ran into AA. Whatchya going to do? Sometimes you play a hand bad & you lose. That’s the way life should be. We should all be held accountable. Unfortunately variance is a hard headed bitch with a one track mind.

So I am trying to shorten this blog because I don’t have the mental stamina to sit here & write about a 21+ day trip & put all the details from day to day. Maybe I will write a book. I did spend 3 days in the hospital because of my own stupidity, played horrible in tournaments, had occasional play bad & run bad in cash, but overall this trip had a life changing affect on me. It made me realize how many friends I do have & that there are a few people that genuinely care about me, which is nice to know from time to time. I met a lot of new people & made a few new friends. I had a blast & if I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t change a thing except maybe the escalator accident or going to the hospital.

In the end I was in Biloxi for 21 days, I had a room for less than 5 of them. I was so down & out in compete DeGeN mode. I have had enough. I had spent 3 days in the hospital & almost had to suffer amputation if things would have gotten worse. I was pretty bad off in a super tough spot that I put myself in. I was attempting to succeed in a manner in which I was only destined to fail.

I did have the pleasure on this trip of meeting Rita & Larry Little the parents of Jonathan Little from Pensacola Beach Florida. I will have an interview coming out soon on Jonathan so stay tuned & thanks for reading.

WSOPC Biloxi

The World Series of Poker Circuit Event at Imperial Palace in Biloxi, Mississippi marks the 4th stop on the Circuit Tour in the 8th season that will offer 17 stops in all from September 2011-May 2012. The Circuits unofficial motto is “12 rings in 12 days” First the ring then the bracelet. The purpose of the Circuit is an additional opportunity for players to earn points for that all but valuable seat into the $ 1Million National Championship Freeroll to play for a WSOP Bracelet & over $ 250K for first! Each stop will conclude with a $1600 Main Event played as a Re-Entry event so those players who fail to bag chips that play day 1A can always Re-Enter day 1B as a new player with a new stack. Both flights play the same number of levels in the structure to come upon an exact end point. The remainder of both flights move on to Day 2 & then play down in accordance to the structure sheet until a champion is reached. The Main Event Champion receives first place money, The Ring, & an automatic entry into the $ 1 Million National Championship Freeroll in Las Vegas Nevada. Lastly the individual at each stop whom amasses the most points that is not the Main Event Champion qualifies for a seat as well as Casino Champion.

It all started with a dream & waking up to see that Co-Owner of Gulf Coast Poker.Net Gene Dudek finished in 3rd place in the massive $355 re-entry that brought in a field of 477 players. It was a great way to start off the series earning Gene D $ 13,348 & 30 points that go toward the National Championship Freeroll. This is only the beginning of what was to become.

Thursday November 3, 2011. Bill Phillips & I arrive in the late afternoon in time for him to late register the $ 235 $ 1K mega satellite. Bill has the patients to wait where others don’t & manages to pick his spots when others would have shoved orbits before with any two. Not that I am saying he is overly tight, but patients & discipline in live poker are crucial to long term survival, but I am saying he understands basic game theory & that there are edges that exist in live poker that may not exist online due to lack of your opponent’s knowledge. So after several hours of grinding the short stack Bill turns that knowledge & experience into a $ 1K seat which starts @ 12pm on Friday. Ship it.

So while Bill is busy winning his seat into the $ 1K I am playing the $ 120 nightly. Yea I know, it better known as the shit storm. You start off with T3k in chips but 30 minute levels. Wait? 30 minute levels? For a nightly? I know right? Anyway, not much happens early as I pick up very few hands early on. Then in level 2 from middle position I look down at two black sevens (77) with T3K behind. I decide to open @ 50/100 to 250. I pick up a call in late position as well as the small & big blinds. Odd as it seems they would both flat a hand even being an early level to play the rest of the hand out of position (oop). The flop comes 3-3-9 with two clubs. The small blind checks, big blind checks, I make a continuation bet 300 & I get flat called 3 ways. Interesting. Turn card comes the 7 of diamonds. GIN!!!!!! Sb checks. BB checks behind. I bet 800. Late position folds, sb & bb insta ships & I snap call. Sb turns over A3. BB turns over J3. The unimportant river was the A & I eliminate 2 players in one hand. I thought that this would be the all important turn of events for me. The one that started the little glimmer of hope. A little run good perhaps? Not quite. Only poor play & coolers to follow imo, but nonetheless the weekend does continue to get better. I eventually bust the nightly with about 4 partial tables left. 110 players began & they were paying the top 12 spots. Let’s just say for discussion purposes that I bust in 40th place, but I don’t really remember. So the rest of the evening we decided to rail Gene Dudek in the previous days 12pm. This was Gene’s 2nd final table of the series & he also went on to finish 3rd in the event for a little over $6k.


So after what has seemed to be a short yet grueling day. Between sweating Gene D @ his 2nd Noon final table & Bill in the $ 1K mega then playing the nightly, it was up to the room in attempt to get some sleep & back downstairs @ 12pm to sweat Bill & Gene in the $ 1K while I tried to make up my mind to decide whether I wanted to grind sit n go's or grind cash. After several hours I finally came to the conclusion that a $ 125 with a $ 40 10 way last longer sit n go it was. Super soft table other than Blake Barrouse & Cameron Ainsworth with both sitting to my left, long story short, I chop the last longer three ways & take $ 120. Then chop the sit and go heads up for $ 500 each. Now this is where the weekend started to get interesting for me. I had a decision to make. Bill & Gene were doing well in the $ 1K. The Main Event started tomorrow. I was going to late register the 5pm mega with a voucher & sold Gene 33% for $ 50. So essentially for the $ 75 dollar buy in + voucher ($50) + Gene $50 , I get T8K going into 200/400/50 & they were giving 41 seats away with over 300+ registered. I managed to last down to about 150 or so when I had no choice but to shove J5hh from UTG with 3bb get reshoved on by UTG+3 with QQ flop a FD & brick the final two streets. Figuring my weekend is now over & I can either go continue to sweat Bill & Gene which is actually quite exciting for me. Most players don’t enjoy it unless they have a financial interest, but railing good friends of mine & providing moral support is something I really don’t mind, or I could go grind cash. I decide to continue to provide moral support instead. As it starts to get later in the night, Bill & Gene are making it deeper in the $ 1K & it appears that they are poised to make a dual final table which would be super exciting as well as great publicity for www.GulfCoastPoker.Net.

But this is where things start to get interesting. As much as I want to continue to be there for my friends as moral support, I don’t get out of the house often enough to play poker & I am having a desire to play. Trying to decide on whether I should play in cash games or should I in the Main Event. The biggest problem I have is the Main event is over-extending my bankroll a little so the only way I can play is by selling 5% blocks for $ 100. I eventually sold 5 10% blocks & I had 50% of myself with the standard 80/20 deal. 337 players entered both flights for a total prize pool of $490,335 which would pay the top 36 spots & $ 112K for 1st. I feel like I definitely owe a shout out to Jeremy Gaubert, Blake Barrouse, Kenny Milam, Ryan Lenaghan, & Jacob Naquin. Thank you for the opportunity & for believing in me. I have a long way to go when it comes to tournament poker & this was a great learning opportunity. Unfortunately running KK into AA AIPF for 50BB is standard I guess.

In the end on the $ 1K Bill & Gene do make a dual final table with Bill finishing in 8th place for about $3.5K & Gene in 2nd place for about $ 20K. Ultimately this 2nd place finish is what locked up “Casino Champion” & a seat in the National Championship Freeroll for Gene Dudek which came down to the wire in the final ring event & the last 4 players on Monday. Bill also decided to play the main after a single table satellite following the $ 1K & his solid play continued. Bill survived Day 1 with a little over starting stack with what amounted to about 20BB going into Day 2. He continued solid play. Doubled up when he needed it. Picked his spots & found folds when Necessary. He was in the zone. He found a way to stay disciplined, focused, & where there was a will he found a way. He never gave up. Bill made the End of Day 2, Bagged up chips for the last time of the tournament series & would come back for day 3 play a short session to get down to the final table & it was short work indeed. In the end Jerry Monroe takes out Bill in a coin flip AQ vs. 99 AIPF & only 3 hands into HU action. This was only 3 hands after Monroe had hit the miracle 4 outer when he hit his gutter on the turn against Jacob Naquin, otherwise he ends up crippled & it would be J Nock vs. Bill Phillips HU for the title. But congrats to Jerry Monroe even though he was the same guy who knocked me out of the main as well. Life has a sick sense of humor sometimes.

Gambling: Perception or Reality?

“Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous.”-Voltaire.

How do you define gambling?

As individuals, we all will have a different definition or perception on a given subject & that is what makes us individually unique. Our perception may have been molded by personal life experiences or what society has lead us to believe through informative misinformation. Keeping that in mind if we were utilize rational thoughts with the lack of emotional attachment, our definition would more than likely produce such a result similar to what we would find in The Oxford English Dictionary.

Gamble (v): To play games of chance for money [Without Object], bet (a sum of money) [With an Object], or to take risky action in hope of desired result.

Now we can come to the rational conclusion that gambling is just human nature & a part of our everyday reality. Society has made an effective attempt to streamline human decision making as a product of a results oriented thought process. This is where I feel society has failed us. Effectively it means that society as a whole does not understand statistical variance & how it will balance out over a large sample of data or in this case a large sample of decisions. This is why I tend to believe that we no longer depend upon individual decision making that is based on factual information at hand. We tend to seek information elsewhere that effectively in a sense is unreliable, thus we tend to fail much more than we succeed. We tend to put the carriage before the horse.

Maybe this is just a fundamental flaw of society or result in a lack of understanding that has developed through our educational system. Although failure is just another aspect of life & an essential component of success, the rate of failure can be drastically reduced based upon rational thinking & using quantifiable information to make well informed decisions knowing that the end result does not truly matter, life will go on. The more we allow society to shape our thought processes in this manner, the more we are susceptible to lose our sense of individuality & our ability to think for ourselves.

Although the definition of gambling is theoretically correct on paper, in practice only with a deeper understanding the definition will only partially apply to poker. Poker is a game that beneath the surface of perception many intangible variables exist that can be condensed into relatively two areas of skill, mathematical computation & psychological warfare. Poker is a constant emotional struggle for individualistic superiority based upon mathematical computations & interpreting the significance of intrinsically incomplete information.

These are just two variables that exist that give a strong argument to classifying poker as primarily a game of skill with elements of chance.

“Defining poker as a game of skill is actually quite simple. First we must forget winning at poker & think for a moment about losing. It is possible to intentionally lose in poker as where to craps & roulette it is not. In games of chance we have no control of the outcome no matter our intent, our odds remain the same. In poker our actions can influence the outcome of the hand. If we fold we know with absolute certainty we will lose or calling bets with hands that cannot win the pot we will lose every time.”- Treat your poker like a business by Dusty Schmidt

Table games such as blackjack or craps are played against the house in which the casino has a specific built in mathematical advantage, where as poker is played against other human beings. The intrinsic flaws of human beings are where we can effectively exploit psychological tendencies or individual weaknesses through tactics of deception & manipulation. Understanding mathematical concepts & human psychology is only the beginning to understanding the level of skill that exists within the game & how they will translate from theory into practice. When our understanding of game theory is effectively implemented, it will in effect lead to a more profound understanding of the game. This is when it is we come to realize that skill is a primary component in a game which by the untrained eye is perceived otherwise. For the individuals who feel that gambling casts a negative shadow on society, poker in particular, understand that life inherently involves risk & everything we do has an element of chance involved. There is nothing certain in this life but death & taxes. Factually that is a reality that you cannot escape.

As human beings we can only comprehend what we truly understand. Poorly executed decisions made on the basis of inferior information or unfounded perception of actuality have a tendency to result in a better than desired outcome. This is the way that the game maintains a delicate sense of humor based on the realism of uncertainty. Individuality (Ego), emotional attachment, & level of understanding of the game are just a few of the qualities that tend to create the element of chance. These factors have the ability to create delusional distortions that have a direct effect on the mental game & personal decision making.

The only certainty in poker that exists is the point where the pot has been awarded. Thus in poker perfection does not exist; mastery is skill that separates an individual from the competition & in theory poker will continually provide a challenging yet dynamic environment.

Oklahoma: The home of Running Bear

“Anyone who would build a city five feet below sea level, in a hurricane zone, & fill it with democrats is a damn genius.”- Larry the Cable Guy

Oklahoma was nice but nothing compares to Drago's char-broiled oysters, stately oaks, LSU & New Orleans Saints Football, Sportsman’s Paradise, 100% humidity, Harrah’s New Orleans, Rock N Sake sushi, sweet tea, & southern belles. Louisiana may not be the greatest place on earth, but it is where I call home. Maybe one day I will move back to Baton Rouge or maybe even Lafayette where I can belong to a nice country club & get back into golf.

For what I had time to see, OKC was a nice place indeed. The food was different yet surprisingly good. I did have an opportunity to visit Cattleman’s Steakhouse which has been operating in the stockyard district of OKC for over 100 years. This is the same restaurant that was featured on the Food Network on their popular show Diners, Drive Ins, & Dives hosted by Guy Fieri & on Travel Channel’s Man vs. Food hosted by Adam Richmond. The food was phenomenal & you could not ask to get a better quality for the price. They are obviously able to provide their customers with value due to their volume & long lasting reputation. If you are ever in OKC, I highly recommend that you visit Cattleman’s Steakhouse. It may not be the most upscale but I highly doubt you will find a higher quality better tasting steak for the price they charge in OKC than Cattleman’s.

Although the food was good, the casinos & especially the poker economy was an entirely different story. First of all, most if not all casinos in the state of Oklahoma are owned by different Indian tribes. "Running Bear" does not offer craps or roulette. Go figure. However they do rake the table games at a rate of $.50 per hand in blackjack & other table games. That should have been a sign of things to come. The poker room in this particular casino was centrally located yet entirely sealed off from the rest of the casino & was a non smoking room, which is always nice to have. There are no slot machines ringing in your ears or second hand smoke you are forced to breathe in. The rake in the poker room was a 10% pot rake with a $4 max rake & a $1 jackpot drop per hand. However they do drop the small blind initially so there is essentially no chop when action is left blind vs blind & obviously no house rule against a no flop no drop since they immediately drop the small blind in a 1/2 no limit hold’em game.

This is where things just start to get interesting. First of all the games had a max buy in of $200 when starting a new game or not. Minimum buy in was $40 & these restrictions are included when buying back in. This was a major handicap in my opinion & if I had not been 500+ miles from home or would have had a vehicle, I would have went elsewhere. This was supposedly the best games in OKC metro area, so I did not bother. The 2/5 games which I did not have the bankroll with me or have in general at the moment dictated that I could not nor should not buy into. My lack of a bankroll & current ability to overcome the psychological barriers to do so profitably was the ultimate decision maker. I was trying to preserve my fund allocation for the trip without having to put it all in play on one buy in. They played nowhere near as deep as they do in New Orleans or Biloxi. Average stacks were maybe $1300-$1500 at best & the action was nowhere near what we experience here at home. The games were super soft & easily beatable in the long term without a shadow of doubt.

The first game I get into is a 1/2 no limit hold’em. I proceeded to make the obvious buy in. This table could not have been any tighter or more passive with premium holdings, yet would limp in a high % of the time just to see a flop with any two. They were min-raising specialists, & even afraid to shove with the nuts in a heads up pot on the river even after you had lead into them for three streets & then check raised them on the river from OOP. Board texture dictated in those spots that I was obviously ahead of everything in their range other than the nuts. That actually happened several times against different opponents. I can see if he may have thought we had the same hand & were eventually chopping, but when you have position & are not three bet shoving the river in that spot it makes me question their ability.

Other than maybe three players, myself included, the tables post flop play was extremely weak, & adjusting to live 1/2 no limit from higher stakes can be much harder than it appears to be. The players in general are weaker, more passive, & stacks are not super deep. There is no room to play poker or get creative against an opponent. There are fewer opportunities to three bet due to lack of opponents opening pots or just in general my table position relative to other competent & aggressive opponents. My four bet range is obviously a little tighter at this level than my three bet range. If the pot was opened it was more than likely opened by me or two other players with any regularity & with a wider range of opening hands.The play at this level is so ABC & showdown is reached a high % of the time. This will eventually mean at this level with the competence of the average player is rather mediocre & effective stack sizes essentially amount to flips in bigger games. A more basic approach coupled with cards that have showdown value are required to play more profitably at this level. Honestly, with this little money on the table & the buy in requirements, I should have been able to change gears a little more frequently, but for me at this level has not been so easy.

There are mental barriers that I must overcome & adjustments that I must make. I must reacquaint myself with the value of patience & discipline, because they were two of the founding principles of how I have been able to create the success in the past & will undoubtedly be able to do so again in the future. I have lost my belief system & I am slowly working on rebuilding it. To me confidence is the ability to trust your instincts & adapt to the environment. It helps make well informed decisions & allows you to pull the trigger when necessary. Ultimately I must be able to believe in myself in order to succeed & if I don’t then nothing else will matter. I will have to take it one step at a time.

“The body cannot achieve what the mind does not believe.”- Unknown Author

This whole trip I was extremely card-dead & when I managed to make a hand it was almost always second best. The calling stations that were at the table managed to get there what seemed like a high % of the time in pots I was involved with, mostly just horrible spots. I managed to flop several straights or make several hands that were almost un-foldable & in turn they always happened to be the second nuts running into the nuts. I did manage to make quite a few disciplined laydowns, but with the table dynamics being what they were, it just turned out to be one of those trips. It was all part of dealing with the variance that exists in poker. I did not play anywhere near my best, I did make quite a few mistakes. I just have to accept the consequences, take them in stride, & use them to grow as a player.